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8/12/2008 6:01 am |
I thought I was depressed.
I have lost three close friends to drunk driving. One of them was the drunk. I was hit by a truck when the driver was on the phone, and didn't see my scooter. In spite of this I have figured out there is no organized plan to do bad things to good people.
There are no bad things, and there are no good people! Ha ha, I tease where it hurts, sorry.
Alcohol is a cruel master. I have battled Mistress Al most of my adult life. I want to tell you that there is hope always. Alcohol only has power in the mind, your husband is not to blame. He may be guilty, and out of control, but his free will + faith can beat alcoholism. I drank as if to kill myself when I was young. Now I hardly ever drink, but when I do it's moderate (usually) and I enjoy it more. Back then I didn't really drink for pleasure, it was to try and nullify the world, and emotions, that I could not control. I don't know exactly when it happened, but I realized that I had a choice. I even went as far as building a still and making my own 182 proof moonshine. Maybe that's when I realized that I had the power over this substance.
I can also say from experience, that it is harder to quit smoking. No matter what it is, we all have choices to make, and we must WANT to make these choices. Stop running away, let it hit you in the face, G-d is at your back always.
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