Who wants to take over the world?
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Posted:May 26, 2007 4:12 pm
Last Updated:May 6, 2024 5:26 pm 9637 Views
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What do you say when you meet somebody who tells you something daft and covertly anti-semitic about Jews, e.g.that Jews want to take over the world and the proof of this is that they once met a Jew or Israeli who told them so?
I have two answers:
1 If you've met one person who says that, and I say the opposite, currently the votes you've heard are fifty fifty.
But a survey of two people is not statistically valid. You need to meet several more Jews and ask them.
2 How many Jews have you met? I've met far more Jews than you have and I've never heard that.
3 I've heard people say loads of stupid things, including conspiracy theories and the fact that aliens from outer space have landed. Have you ever heard a person of authority such as The Chief Rabbi say that in print?
4 Ask two Jews about anything and you'll get three opinions.
5 Are you basing national policy on what one person says?
6 Mental homes are full of people who think they are Jesus and want to conquer the world.
7 Don't believe everything people tell you, or everything you read.
8 The Christians and Moslem want to conquer the world. Why is it okay for them to say so and not for the Jews to say so?
9 That's good news. Since you are friends with me, when I conquer the world, I'll make you prime minister.
10 What else do you know about Judaism?
Have you any other answer or comments?
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Speechwriters Unite - and I can help you
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Posted:May 26, 2007 4:02 pm
Last Updated:May 6, 2024 5:26 pm 9689 Views
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I've written a book on wedding speeches and given 40 speeches and won awards in the UK, Singapore and Shanghai.
I'm a mentor at a would-be speakers' group.
I can give a ten week course to bat or barmitzvah pupils at schools or shuls or youth groups in the NW London area.
(I need to do this to get me next level qualification as a toastmster.)
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Songwriters wanted
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Posted:May 26, 2007 3:58 pm
Last Updated:May 6, 2024 5:26 pm 11550 Views
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I'm interested in writing songs.
I write comic poetry.
I have bought a couple of books on songwriting and I've been on two songwriting courses.
Please contact me if you want to admire, advise, collaborate, learn, whatever.
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My Family History Research
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Posted:May 26, 2007 3:55 pm
Last Updated:Jun 16, 2007 10:32 am 9482 Views
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I'm doing family history research.
My family are from
Father's side - Ukraine - Lemberg/Lvov/Lviv - they look Ashkenazi, blue eyes, pink complexion
Mother's side Holland - they look Sephardi, black hair, brown eyes, and did not speak Yiddish
via London's East End - Princes Street & Commercial Road area
If you are doing research, can give advice, need help, or just want to chat, please write to me here or ask for my details. I have some family history on my website.
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Discovering The Shocking Truth About Food, Jews, Pork and Santa Claus
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Posted:Oct 21, 2006 6:15 pm
Last Updated:Dec 8, 2007 9:52 pm 18986 Views
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At the age of five I discovered four shocking facts. 
1 Food can kill you.
If you pick food up from the floor and eat it, something horrible will happen to you.  At very least mother will dance around in a frenzy, shouting and waving her arms like a character in an opera.
2 Santa Claus does not exist.
He is somebody's father or grandfather dressed in a hired red costume.  When you find out, you must join the worldwide conspiracy. You are not allowed to tell other .
Fairies and witches do not exist either.
In fact most things adults say are not true.
Especially promises about tomorrow. You do not go to the circus tomorrow.
And dead people such as grandparents do not float off to heaven on white fluffy clouds. On sunny days. They are put in large shoe boxes.  Then sent the other way, underground, in the mud. On rainy days.
Mummy is not pleased that granny has gone to heaven. Mummy is extremely upset. 
3 I am Jewish.
That means I can't have Christmas presents nor a Christmas tree - unless we stay incognito in a hotel.
4 I am not supposed to eat pork.
Pork kills Jews. It doesn't kill other people, only Jews.
When you are away from home in a hotel you have to check all your food, because you are not supposed to eat pork.
Later there was worse news. The bacon and ham I had eaten so happily in hotels was actually the dreaded pork, in disguise.
What with Santa Claus and bacon, you couldn't trust anybody or anything. There are lies, damned lies and bacon, which is pork hidden by another name. 
Given this terrible start to life, it is amazing that I am still so sweet-natured, naive and trusting. 
I still suspect that all restaurants and strangers are trying to poison everybody, if not deliberately, through a deadly combination of ignorance and negligence. Because anybody who is not Jewish is asleep for four hours, and half asleep for eight hours, and drunk for twelve hours. 
I copy my orthodox friends who read lists of ingredients on packages in supermarkets, hunting for hidden pork and E numbers.  Even in kosher restaurants.
As for supermarket taramasalata, we just discovered it contained only about ten percent fish roe. Mostly fat. Horrors!
Mother was right. Anything in a bottle or a can gives you cancer or sugar diabetes, although these are not listed in the warnings on the label. Apart from your own mother, anybody who mixes together two ingredients is trying to poison you, or cheat you out of your hard-earned money. 
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