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[COLOR teal]Now, waiting has similarities to being suspended in motion and that is not always a bad thing. I like to rest and the thought of a lazy afternoon relaxing in a hammock with a cool glass of iced tea and a good book with no interruptions is something akin to heaven. Rest without anticipation leads to relaxation and eventual sleep. But waiting by its very nature requires rest with expectation, alertness and availability. This is where we must embrace the "want" of the desire and the tension of fulfillment?s "not yet." Now, couple the word "wait" with the phrase "for love" and we have upped the ante. "To wait for love" is a wager that leaves us feeling vulnerable, anxious and exposed. It is similar to an actor who delivers a well rehearsed punch line and pauses for the audience's reaction?the perspiring palms and breathless seconds seem like hours. The more we hope by opening ourselves to the vulnerability of waiting with anticipation, the riskier life gets. Waiting for another to move towards us only increases the spacious tension as we are unable to define its consummation. Unlike movies with happy endings, like Ginger Rogers gracefully swirling across the room, and the debonair Fred Astaire stopping in motion, waiting with baited breath, arms open and a body poised to receive his partner again, life is much more open ended and disappointing. To avoid the anxiety and pain, often, we play it safe cocooned in layers of self-protection?distancing ourselves from wanting, hoping and being available for love.[/COLOR]
My Ideal Person
To wait?the phrase is tantamount to torture for me. Few trials elicit more anguish than longing for something, only to have its fulfillment impeded. Even the Psalmist states that "Hope deferred makes the heart sick." Ever been dehydrated to the point of wanting to pay a ridiculous price for some cool libation? How about needing to be somewhere in a hurry only to find yourself behind a driver who feels it?s their civic duty to meander slower than the speed limit? Have you ever fallen in love and yearned to have your feelings reciprocated? To thirst, yearn, and desire all have the quality of hoping for something just beyond our reach. Often, I?d prefer to be pro-active?trying to avert the uncomfortable tension of an anticipatory situation. So I play "dodge the slowpokes" at the grocery store by detecting the fastest bagger and checkout clerk, only to be derailed by a customer who wants to write a check or has an item with no price.
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